1-21-14

ok so yesterday wasn't the best day emotionally that I have had in a while.  I fought.  I fought with myself now.  I fought with my old self.  I fought for the person I want to be.  I cried, laughed, winched in pain but I didn't give up.  I can't give up.  It's not in me this time.  I may fall down time and time again but this time I'm not stopping.  Not now. Not when the contest is over.  Not even when I get to my goal weight.  This is not a temporary journey, it's a life time of choices.

So yes I did shake yesterday off.  I got up and have breakfast.  Yes it was eggs and toast.  But today had some ground turkey with it.  That kept me going all morning.  For that matter it kept me going all day.  I just don't have much of an appetite right now.

I have been soooo sleepy feeling this week and not totally sure why.  Maybe just not sleeping well enough at night.  I was planning on taking a nap on my lunch.  I do that some times when I am really tired.  I didn't stop for water and everyone knows I HAVE to have my water.  So I made a water run on lunch and ... oh yeah ... had a couple of hot dogs off the grill.  I know not the best choice but I really wasn't hungry but felt like I needed something.  I did manage to "rest" with my eyes closed for maybe 15 minutes once I got my "stuff" done.

After work I did have a snack.  I really love the Belvita for a quick pick me up.  Then off to the gym.  Ok well actually I ate them on the way to the gym.  I wasn't dragging like I was yesterday.  The pain wasn't as bad either.  I didn't want to go but the tuggin was there and so here I was.  Sitting on the bike and wishing I was some place else lol.

I did get in a hour of cardio and then did two weight stations for two sets.  I have talked myself out of doing a heavy workout on my work days.  My plan was at least 30 minutes of cardio and I have doing at least an hour.  Then again my plan is to do at least two work outs on Friday but that hasn't been happening.  Funny that I can make myself go to the gym easier when I have worked a 10 hour shift than I can when I wake up with the whole day.  I am ashamed to say that last Friday I never left the house.  I just managed to talk myself out of it.  The week before I did make it to my trainer but the extra workout at the gym never happened.  I don't know what I am going to do with myself lol  hhmm nope not asking for suggestions ... I got a few at the gym tonight :D

So all in all I did have a good day.  Time to finish my food journal and try and get some sleep so I can do this all again tomorrow.