No don't go into shock I am writing two days in a row. No I am not bored. No I am not avoiding exercising ... ok well maybe a lil lol. I just realized a few things today. After my overload this week I realized something really important. Something that I had fears about with my weight loss. But first I have to share something from 20ish years ago (ok maybe 30 now). I know I know some of you can't remember back that far and some .. well you weren't around then but stay with me for a minute.
As some of you know I have had a battle with my weight off an on all my life. It is something that I have come to grips with, well the idea of it any way. As some of you that have read earlier blogs, or knew me back then have heard that I use to be in much better shape. In my early 20's I hit it hard and kicked butt. I was working out and felt and looked good. Yes I gave myself a compliment, it's ok and I am working on taking them too.
I did really well with keep my weight "under control" till I hit a depression. I broke off with a guy that I "thought" I loved. I had a"career change" and I moved from my apartment that I had been in for the past year. Oh did I mention wrecked my car? It crashed down around me and I stopped going to the gym. I used the excuse it's a 30 min drive to the gym. When I moved I moved into a lil country town, nice but not close to anything really. I could have found other ways to get in exercise, but hey I was depressed, remember?
Before I knew it I had been putting weigh back on. At the point I tried to pull myself up and get it together I met yet another prince charming. This time it was different. Twenty years later I had two kids with him (which that in itself can toss the body around) and we are divorced and ... well you can fill in the blanks.
So now lets fast forward back to now. I realized that the "life stuff" that has been tossing me around is the things that use to get me off track. I realized today that hasn't been happening. I know that it's only been six week that I have been "off the wagon" (kids ask you parents what that means lol ) I have been in sight of my choices. Even in all the pain and stress that I have been going thru the past few weeks, even the past year, I have kept moving forward. Over the past few weeks I have been able to maintain my weight with in a 5-6 lbs margin. I am really ok with it too. I am glad it went like this now so that I don't have to keep worrying if I can do this for the rest of my life. I know part of it is I am older and more mature (lol I know I laughed as soon as I wrote it, me mature? rofl) and can deal with thing better than I did. But isn't that the point. By this time in my life I should be able to do that. I should be able to say no when I need to. I do believe this time. I believe in me.
I love to hear that you have been motivate, cuz that makes me wanna work harder to show others that it can be done. Please don't anyone think they have to say or, nor think that I am putting myself on a pedstal. I am just doing what I need to do to live, LIVE my life. I would love to have everyone see it CAN be done. I am motivated by my friends that are on this road and I am so glad you decided to share with me. Thanks so much ... not lets live guys. P.S. I did not proof read this cuz I have work to do. You can give me a grammar lesson later or call an laugh at me :D
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