After the contest was over I had decided that I would take off a week. This has been a pretty long week ... it's actually been a month. I have not been just going completely crazy the whole time. I just have not been dedicating myself to my goal like I want to, need to.
The week after the contest was my son's wedding and I had decided that since I was "good" through all the showers and stuff that I could have pigged out I was going to do what I wanted now. I didn't just pig out for all that time but when it came to the cake I did make a pig of myself. I had a super big piece with A LOT of icing. I loved every bite of it. They cooked out after and yes I had hot dog, smoked sausage and hamburger. While eating it I laughed and say it was my one day to be a total pig about it and on Monday I'd get strict again.
On the way home I was miserable. I had not ate sugar like that in forever. I love a good cake with some butter cream icing but had opted not to have it at the showers we had for the kids. But this was a sugar overload like my body had not had in a really long time. Regrets? No I don't. I have not pigged out like that since but I did not get strict like I wanted to.
So as I mentioned my plan after the contest was to take it easy for a week and kick it back up. I wanted to lose another 25-30 lbs by the time my daughter gets married. Here I am a month later and still have not gotten strict like I wanted to. The wedding is only 7 weeks from today and I have only stepped on the scale once since the contest. When I did step on the scale I was up 8 lbs. I was ok with that since my muscle weight was up too. That was a good thing.
This week got my motivation going again. At work I had volunteered for a special project. Can anyone guess what that is? Better health. I had put my name in for it before the contest and forgot about it till I got the email telling me I had been chosen for the committee.
The health issues are not just limited to weight but it seemed that is where everyone kept going. It seemed that was the one area that they could come up with things that would good to motivate. One of the ideas is to do a biggest loser contest. So here I am talking about all the things that I know work and one of the other ladies said "I'm getting motivated just thinking about it." I sat there thinking I need to get back on this thing and do better.
That day had been really stressful and I just really was low on motivation so not much came of it. On lunch I had things I needed to do and it took up enough of my lunch hour that I didn't do anything else. Wednesday and Thursday was different. It was almost like the day I started this three years ago. I went downstairs to the lobby not really planning on walking but ended up going out side and making two laps around the site, that is a mile. I was pretty happy with myself.
I can't say that I ate "the right foods" but I did great on proportion sizes of what I did eat that day. Not trying to make excuses but it's a start. I am making myself aware of what I am doing. For the last 4 weeks I have not really done this.
Yesterday I went outside with the intention of walking and I did. My lunch I made two laps before I got to hot. It was my goal so I was ok with it. On my late break I did half a lap around the front part of the building. I could say I stopped because it was hot but my feet hurt. That had been the excuse I had used for the past few weeks. The did hurt but I found the determination to at least try. Once I got started I kept pushing myself to keep going.
I have not gotten back in the gym yet but at the same time when I first started I wasn't going to the gym then either. I am back to doing something daily and that has been my goal. I don't know if the scale will show what I want it to, but right now I am feeling better and that is good enough for me. Oh did I mention? My clothes have started growing again lol
I've battled depression too, Genie--and your description in this and your last post---wow, so familiar. It gets dark, lonely, desperate--and the last thing on your mind in the middle of that place is eating well and exercising.
ReplyDeleteI've found that those two things can dramatically help alleviate depression. It doesn't "fix" it completely--but simply walking 30 minutes a day has proven to have the same effects as an anti-depressant medication.
Your perspective is so good--- something each day... have compassion for yourself. Be okay and realize that your heightened awareness and resolve to accomplish that one thing each day is powerful and can grow--gaining momentum, Genie. You deserve it, Wishing you the very best always--Sean