5-10-14

Today may be short and sweet.  I am just trying desperately to get my rhythm back.  I had managed to get back on track in January when I started the weight loss contest.  I was being held accountable in ways that I needed something extra like this to keep my thoughts straight.  Then again this, when I can make myself, helps me get my thoughts out.  Some days I keep thinking I've had a rough day or that I made a lot of wrong choices and I start to write about it and I sometimes find it wasn't as bad as I thought.  I need that day.

 These days I know I have plenty going on that are good but I seem to keep focusing on the things that are bothering me.  Here lately I seem to cry a lot, sometimes I really not sure why.  I have to stop and get my thoughts together, refocus them.

Last week I made the decision to delete my Facebook.  I realized some of the things that were bringing me down was because of the drama that I was seeing on there.  I was spending time on there that I could be doing something more productive.  In some ways it's weird to watch everyone around me reading FB and updating status and I start to pick up my phone ... oh wait I don't have it.  Thing is a week later now and I don't miss it.  I have to laugh when someone asks "did you see that post that ... "  ah no!!

So the past few Saturdays, after reading Pinterest, I decided I would finally work on changing a few things in my bathroom that I had been wanting to do.  It's not anything fancy but it a few changes I wanted to spruce it up.  It's put a new life and made me feel good about getting something done.  It's only the start of many changes I want to get done.

With both kids gone or almost gone from living here I have plans to change the whole house before I am done.  Instead of walking through the house and seeing where they use to do something or walk past the empty room, I am focusing on what I want to make the rooms.  At some point I will have a workout room and a studio for my graphics and photo work.  And yes at some point my room.

The past few days I have not really done a workout as some would put it, but I did house work and I did get a good sweat going today lol.  Who said you need a gym to get a workout in.  It keeps my mind off what I don't have and gets me moving and look ahead.  After all isn't that where I am going?

So anyone out there battling depression do what ever you can to shake it off.  Find a project of any kind to keep you mind off what is getting you down.  We ALL have something, that if we focus on it, can kick you in the butt.  I know it's not always easy but find that drive and try to keep going.