Tue 11-27

I would like to say that today was better.  I don't know that I can.  I did make it to the gym for a lil workout.  Only an hour but it was more than I had been getting.  Going to try and start going even for a lil while.  This means me getting up at 4:30 AM!! again.  I had been doing it before when I was working the 9:00 shift.  When I moved to the 7:00 shift I talked myself outta this saying that I could not get in the time like I wanted to.  This has been a MAJOR downfall for me.  As I was swimming today I managed to talk myself thru the idea of a new gym schedule that I CAN do everyday.  I have to make myself get up at 4:30 giving me time to be at the gym when it opens at 5.  I do at least a 15 min of cardio on the bike then off to the weight room for 15 min.  End up in the pool for a 30 min swim.  This would still give me time to shower and be at work by 7 on days that I don't trade for a later shift.  Well it sounds good in my head anyway lol  I want to try and make it to the gym at least 4-5 times a week like I had been doing this time a year ago.

Working into the shift will mean me going to bed at a real hour.  If I can get to sleep by 10:30, and stay asleep, I can get a good night sleep and at least a small workout in.  This beats no workout .. right??

So if I made it to the gym today why did the day bite?  I still just not feelin this stuff called life.  I won't bore ya with all the junk I am dealing with.  I really don't think I can without breaking down again an crying.  I already have a headache from that.

I guess the good thing about this feeling, I know not a great thing, but I just don't feel like eating.  I did force myself to eat.  I took my a shake with me when I went to the gym.  After I left I stopped off at Subway for my eggwhite and ham breakfast.  

Since my schedule was crazy today I didn't ever really take a lunch.  I did make myself go get a hamburger in the cafeteria on my one break.  The schedule was crazy due to a Dr visit I had today.  After talking an crying with him for almost an hour I really didn't feel like eating.  I did stop to get some water to take back with me and ended up getting one of the  hot dogs .. or hot link or something ... it wasn't all bad but I convinced myself to at least eat something at this point.  Even with that ... aahm not so good choice ... I'm still within my calorie bank for today.

Yeah in some ways I had a good "healthy" day, just all the other junk getting to me keeping me from feeling.  I will see what happens tomorrow.

Stand back, say a prayer an cheer me on.

oh yeah ... back down 2 more lbs ... at least it's not up two :D