Today wasn't so bad ... well depending on how you look at it. I got a good start with a few exercises here at home. I had a good breakfast. I made good food choice and exercise choices today.
My early break ... nope I didn't do anything. I had eaten at 5:30 this morning so by 9 I was starting to get hungry again. Just a lil. I had an egg sandwich. For lunch I had a hamburger and for dinner .. well eggs an toast. Now that I think of it I may have had more bread than I meant to eat today. I would like to say it was all wheat bread but I'm not able to get that at work. I really do need to plan better and take stuff with me. When will I learn?
So my challenges were all over the place today. Yeah I started out pretty well but I can do that any time. Morning break I did have something to eat instead of walking like I planned on. Why? Was I really hungry?? A lil. Could I have waited till lunch? Possible. I can make the excuses that I needed to eat to take my meds. I needed to eat to keep my ulcer from bothering me like it has been. Thing is I wanted to eat something. I really didn't want to walk "my feet hurt" fair enough right? yeah I'm rolling my eyes too :/
My lunch time I still really didn't want to walk but I had that burn inside (no not from my ulcer lol). No pain no gain, or loss on my part :D I would walk at least one round. Once I got out there I did end up talking myself into doing more. I did the first round, one more time I told myself. The end of the second round "It's not all that bad, just take a slow pace, you're almost done". So I made it one more round and completed my 30 min. I hurt!! I don't want to!! At the same time I don't want to be overweight!!! So I will bike, swim, walk, or crawl till I can get it off. If my ankle doesn't get better I will walk until it falls off. Sounds pretty harsh to ya? I know does me too. You guys will have to pray for me on that one lol
But really I don't know what all is going on with my ankle. I am at the point I don't care. On top of that I know part of the reason my feet hurt is my shoes don't fit right any more. I can't remember ever losing enough weight that my shoes were to big but I have. I guess I need to invest in some ... soon!!!!!!
Today I was thinking about my friend Cathy as I was walking. Tonight I was inspired by her. Her blog talked about ... well in short hating being over weight and feeling like she failed ... again. I know that feeling all too well. I fell back into some of my old habits. I told myself it was ok since I wasn't gaining weight. I have givn myself 5-10 lb fluff to bounce around with. I was up and down on the scale for a while. Now it's just up. Only 10 lbs. ONLY??? ONLY TEN??? ENOUGH!!! I did not work this hard over the past two years to stop now.
I know the feeling of feeling like a failure. I know the pain, shame, disgust that overweight people feel when they try and then hit a wall. But I also know the peace that I get when I hear God tell me "it's ok I understand and I am here for you" I seem to get a lil lighter step when I do. We can do this.
So everyone stand back, say a prayer and cheer us on.
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