Today? I don't know if I feel good about it or not. In the back of my mind I was telling myself I was having a blow off day. I don't know. I think I am having a pity party and no one showed up.
I started off well, over all eating wise I didn't blow it too bad ... eggs for breakfast ... morning break had a bacon an eggs sandwich. No "lunch" today, payday and I needed to do my bank run.
The afternoon held our team meeting. I had baked a cake. A simply delicious, moist, mouthing watering cake. No I only had a small piece of it. At the same time someone had some 7 layer dip and it was great on Triscuits :D I had seconds of that :D :D. Someone had the nerve to bring my very favorite, store bought, cookies so I had two .. ahhm three. I did have some of Amandas coconut bars, but I'm pretty sure there may have been something healthy in them somewhere ():D I had to try more than one to see if this theory was correct. I didn't stuff myself but I did eat what I wanted.
The evening was where my troubles came in. The cake I took to work? It had a twin at home, well sort of. The one I took to work was lemon and the one at home, by my sons request, was chocolate. No no it wasn't that bad, I did have about 4-5 bites of it when I got home.
At this time I was a lil emotional eating I think. I come home to an empty house and I hadn't eaten since the team meeting at 2. I had a friend ask if I wanted to stop by to visit when they went out to eat. Carl's Jr doesn't have the most healthy options so I just had water and talked. I kinda wished I hadn't done that.
Anyway, the emotional part? Oh yeah I was home alone ... again. I don't think this empty nest thing is all that great right now. I am happy for my kids but I miss being the one they come to also. Today my daughter was talking about the car she wants to buy. The one that her boyfriend found for her. The one that he and HIS dad test drove. The one that THEY are going to look at in the morning. The one that will be on HIS insurance. I guess I am feeling left out. She has never even asked if I wanted to be involved in any of this. I don't have the heart to say it to her. (no she don't read my stuff so don't bring it to her attention) I had been the one my son went to when he was looking at buying his first car and I looked forward to that with her too. This will be the first "first" that I feel like I am no part of that I will be no part of. As happy as I am for her I feel bad too. Is that wrong? I don't know ... you tell me.
So my pity party almost had be crying over a chocolate cake. I think I did pretty well, I honestly only had about 4-5 small bites an walked away. I tried working on photos tonight, but that is another story.
So I didn't count calories. I really didn't think about counting them, well not that I was going to anyway. I didn't get my 30 minute walk in today, first time all week. Nope it was a total blow off day. Tomorrow I will give it another try. Stand back, say a prayer and cheer me on. I need all the help I can get.
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