7-13-12

So today was good but ended on an interesting, challenging note.  There was nothing to any extremes really.  The morning woke up and got going.  Stopped for breakfast burritos for me an the kids before my daughter dropped me off at work.  
I don't know if I made all the best choices today.  I can't say that I made the extra effort for exercise.  But I can say the evening was more of a challenge that I really wanted to deal with.      
For some reason part of my eating habits haven't been the best.  I have kept in my calorie count range but not because I ate all the "right" foods but because I didn't eat thru the day like I should be to keep the metabolism going.  I don't know why I just have not felt like eating.  I wake up hungry, eat a good breakfast.  Lunch some times, at least a snack size something like I did today.  Today had a few chicken tenders.  Yup they were battered and fried and they were good.  But after a few bites of them I found myself not wanting them.  Not totally because I was full but I convinced myself that I was.  


Dinner?  Nope nuttin.  I found myself home alone again and just didn't feel like cooking for myself, nor did I feel like sitting at a restaurant (fast food or other wise).  I guess I convinced myself that I wasn't hungry and sat and watched TV for a while.  


Fell asleep for a bit but woke up to an empty house an didn't feel like being here.  I went for a drive.  I use to do that back before I had the kids and some how it was relaxing.  It doesn't seem the same these days for some reason.  Sitting at the lake watching the ripples of the water off the moonlight was nice enough.  


So the challenge?  Something I use to do when I would drive around was drop in something an get a drink or something to eat.  Part of me wanted to but I never did.  Something inside of me felt empty but I knew that food was not going to fill it.


So now here I sit at 2am feeling hungry but not wanting to eat.  I know I'm going to lay down in a bit and try again to sleep and I don't want to go to bed just after eating.  That's what has me here.  Hoping that I can get this out of my system and just sleep.  Clear my brain so it will stop, right?  I guess in a sense I did good today.  I didn't eat in the end.  I'm finally starting to feel sleepy so nite all ... hope you had a great day