No post last night because I spent the evening at the ER with my son. I had no sooner got home and dressed to relax for the evening and he said he needed to go. He had gotten something in his eye from welding class, no nothing hot my first concern but still an irritation just the same. Long story short there it was after around 1:30 this morning when I got home. I had been up since 4:15 when I went to the gym so it was a LONG day. I am to old for those hours :D and no I'm not going to work today for a few reasons.
All in all, even with it being so long, the day went pretty well. I had a good workout and walked several times at work. I kept my food choices in check and feel like it was a pretty good day. I do have to say I am still trying to tweak my routine, my thoughts on what I am doing. It's been a lifetime of doing what I have been doing, even though I do feel different about things this time, I still trying to get it together so I can keep going.
I have been talking with several people in my life about weight control, food choice, life choices really. Since this has been a life time battle for me I have a lot of knowledge about the do's and don'ts of weight loss. I am sorting thru what is going to help me get where I want to be, now and down the line. What works for you? What is healthy? What will work for me? How did I really get here? Where do I go now? These are all questions I ask myself and I am trying to sort thru on a daily basis right now.
I have never been one to just sit around every free moment and eat, even stuff myself till I can't move. I can't say I have never "ate to much" at a single meal, but what is really too much. I have a range of calories that I am looking to keep and if I eat it all in one meal is this a bad thing? A lot of what I read would say yes. I need to keep fuel going thru the day to burn it off. But some will say eat what you want as long as you don't go over you calorie goal for the day. Some would say eat what you want but spread it out over the day. hhmmm. I'm thinking and experimenting. The one consistent this is exercise.
Over the past year I have not kept a ... well consistent routine. I started out doing the eat six times a day. I had breakfast, drank a shake mid morning, ate lunch with a shake mid afternoon and then dinner and sometimes a shake before I went to bed. That with exercise added to was good for a while. When I hit my 20 lbs I stalled for almost a month, so I tried different things. I stopped doing the shakes and just eating the three meals of a healthy choice and once in a while adding a shake or a snack. Ok this worked for awhile too. This took me thru the summer pretty well. Then the crash.
I had set a goal to lose 50 lbs by my birthday which is Sept 2. When I weighed in that day I had lost 46. Disappointed, a lil, but still couldn't celebrate. Not because I didn't make the goal, I was ok with that but the day before I lost my mom. Sept 1 at shortly after 6am I got the call. Over the next few days my friend thought they needed to feed me. One of which is a long distance friend, meaning I live in WF and she lives in Tulsa. She had not been here to see what my daily routine had been and she meant well. One, who had seen my routine and did what she could to help me but was concerned I was going to starve myself. Both meant well. So to keep them from nagging me I ate. I ate at times when I probably wouldn't have. I ate things that I hadn't been eating. Also remember it was my birthday. Another of my friends bake me my favorite cake. Upside down pineapple cake. Not one but TWO. This is one time that I guess you could say I was an emotional eater. The last week before Mom died I ate practically nothing. There was some underlying issue that I just didn't.
I didn't have people bringing food to the house, I really didn't give them time. Mom passed on Thursday morning and we buried her on Saturday morning. There was no reason to draw this out over a long period of time. My kids are old enough, if they are hungry, they can get for themselves. So up to this point of the meal after the funeral I hadn't ate and I was ok with it. It really had nothing to do with weight loss. Also remember my friends fed me after the funeral, it was really the first meal that I ate all week.
So back to the my cake, aahh I mean my cakes. I hadn't really shopped for groceries that week and my kids were doing ok on their own. I didn't feel like cooking. Several times over the next week, actually more like days, I had ate the cakes. I know the kids ate some but I probably ate most of them. I would walk thru the house, end up in the kitchen and find my way to the cake and I would eat some of it. At this point I think I was an auto mode. Problem with that, it was set to the old habits.
Over the next month I had really pushed off any of the habits I had formed. I had a lot going on in my mind that I may share with you at some point. I ate with no thought about the food choices and exercise was not on the list of my to do for the day.
I am not sure at what point over this time I had weighed but when I did I had gained 12 lbs. Normally I would have gone into destruction mode at this time but I didn't. I did just the opposite. I kicked into over drive and talked to my Dr about it. We made some changes and over the next two weeks I had lost the 12 lbs back off plus 6. That was really my only emotional eating set back since I started this time. I have had lil dips here and there but nothing like that. I keep hearing my mom telling me I can do it. That got me back up and running.
Today is a new day, I try to take none of them for granted. I am working on getting me in line where I can live a healthy life ... for me. Today I will continue to ask myself the questions to sort out what I need to do to live a healthy life. How about you? What will you do for you today?
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