2-16-14

For the first time since I started this contest I feel good.  And it’s not because of a number on the scale.  I hate scales.  I just feel good.  I had a breakthrough and I feel like smiling. 

As I had said earlier this week I was feeling a cloud that wouldn’t let me celebrate even the little accomplishments.  After doing a bible study yesterday and a few other things over the past few days I realized something.  It’s not my victory to celebrate.

Yes I did the work.  I am the one that kept up with my nutrition.  I am the one that planned meals.  I am the one that was out there sweating.  And as much as I knew, and even said it, that God was helping me with this, I wasn't really giving him the credit. I am nothing without him.  He is the one that helped me with all those things.  I have tried this many times in the past and I failed without him.

Ok so if you are still with me great.  If you left because you felt I was preachy then … well you probably aren't reading this far anyway.   I make no apologies for it, this is who I am.  I am desperately looking for that balance between physical, emotional and spiritual.  It’s all very important.  It’s the balance that works for me.

So yesterday I didn't really write like I had wanted to, I was tired.  But part of what I had to say yesterday was what I have just written about. 

I woke up this morning feeling good.  I didn't really even fret about the weigh in.  I never like scales but it’s part of the contest.  I had already said God this is in your hands and let me accept whatever happens.   Of course I wanted to do well, but I had done the work and I was at peace about it.

I had talked with my trainer about changing up some of my nutrition to possibly get my metabolism cranked up.  I don’t know what made me start this theory the day before a weigh in but I did.  From a competition stand point that could have been a big mistake.  At the same time I didn't really think about it being the day before contest. 

Earlier in the week I had planned on getting every possible moment that I could in on working out.  I slept in yesterday and decided to go see my son in Lawton.  I don’t get to see him as often as I would like and that is what mattered most to me at the time.

On the way out of town we, my daughter and I, stopped for breakfast, Carl’s Jr.  I know what you are thinking but I had already decided I wasn't going to get upset over all this.  I would eat what I wanted in moderation and I would start to work on the change so yes I had a loaded biscuit and small hash browns.  Yes I know this took up about half my calorie count for the day.  At the same time I enjoyed every bite.  I know you’re thinking this probably made my weigh in go bad today.  Keep in mind I had already told God it’s in His hands and I accept whatever came my way. 

For lunch yesterday the kids wanted to go to an Italian restaurant that they really like.  I’m thinking worst of worsts I could order a salad and enjoy the time with the kids.  At the same time over the past three years I have learned to be creative in many ways, even in ordering food at a restaurant like this.

Chicken Marsala sounded pretty good.  I considered all the elements of the way of looking at food.  I had the pasta put on the sideand didn't eat any of it.  The rest  was pretty good. 

 I did have some bread but I have to say it looked much better than it tasted.  It wasn't bread sticks like you would get at Olive Garden or other places.  It was more of a biscuit with some Italian flavors sprinkled on top.  I had one and munched on it through the full meal.  I can remember a time when would have easily had two or three of these.  Not to mention who goes to an Italian restaurant and not have some form of pasta?  Well this crazy girl that’s who.

Lunch was great.  Time with the kids was great.  I did a little bit of shoe shopping at the store where my future daughter in law works.  I was hoping to find another pair of running shoes but nothing really hit me at just what I was looking for.

By the time we left my son’s home I was tired and all I was thinking about is getting home and call it a day.  I still had about 200 calories that I could have used but to be honest I was more tired than I was hungry.  We did stop for gas and a hot dog, mine no bun, and it homeward bound.

So this morning I woke up just feeling like it was going to be a good day.  I didn't dread the weigh in.  I didn't think too much about it.  I went to church and had a great time.  I had worked hard this week and I was done.  It was time for the results.

Ok now I don’t know if you remember on Tuesday night I was upset about being up in weight, but I never told you how much.  Well from the last official weigh in till that night I was back up 5 lbs.  That was what I was down from the last weigh in.  Today I was just hoping that I had “broke even”. 

So what happened?  I was down 11 lbs since the weigh in on Tuesday night that had me so upset.  This meant that I put 5 lbs down for my official weigh in this time.  That was the most I had posted toward the contest yet.
  So now since Dec 30^th I am down 27 lbs.  And on the contest I am officially down 13 lbs.  I may not win the contest but one lb at a time I am winning back my life.  And it feels good.  Who’s with me?