Friday, June 7, 2013

June 6 2013 20 of 100

4:30 am I hear birds chirping.  What in the world? They are getting louder.  Ahh it's my wonderful alarm.  That snooze button is just too inviting.  I must hit it at least once and only once.  uugghhh I'm awake.  Then again isn't that what I wanted when I set it for that time. Who knew there was a 4pm AND 4 am??  I do .... these days.

5:30 am.  I walk into the pool room.  It's nice a quite.  The water is still.  The only light there is comes from the glow of the ones in the lobby that's just out the door and up stairs.  It's my time.

I walk to the shallow end and lay down my rocks.  I love my rocks, they help me keep count when I am swimming and they don't wash away like marbles.

I walk to the ladder and step down. That is when I see them.  The first small ripples of the day.  Still no one around I push thru the water to my lane.  I stand there for a minute and just breath it in.  Not the the smell of the chlorine that you would think of but the clean smell that I get in the pool.  The water is clear enough to see thru.  It's peaceful, something you don't think about when you think about the gym.  Or working out.

I stand at the end of my lane for just a few seconds and stretch. I take a deep breath and I lower myself down to where I am face level with the water and begin to stroke.  The stillness starts to leave as the ripples of the water grow faster and harder as I reach the other end of the pool.  It's my time.  Still no one around to disturb the quiet. 
As I reach the end to make my first turn the ripples have become large enough that the splash back in my face.  I don't care.  I am moving.  For the first time in my life I feel good about swimming like this.  I am doing it.

My mind runs thru all kinds of thoughts as I swim.  The kids and what to do about where we are in our lives now.  The day ahead at work and what it may bring.  I try to think about anything but what I am doing.  Today felt like a struggle to pull myself thru the water but I was going to keep going.  I needed to think about anything.  Pray about the day.  I had to keep moving.  Don't stop keep going.  Don't stop keep going.

Before I knew it it was 5:55 and the first person was there to join me in the pool.  It was nice having it to myself but now the real struggle began.  My waves I could control but someone else ... well that can make it hard some days.

My mind begins to compare how life can be like the water splashing at me.  How this two year journey has been.  I get going along and doing well and then add someone/something and that when it gets hard.  Especially when they are moving against you.  This was the struggle today as it is with many days.  

I am not the fastest swimming out there.  I have to remind myself to take it one stroke at a time and not think about the others.  The other guy isn't one of the best swimmers I see there but he technic doing cause a big splash. (not near as bad as dolphin boy, read prior blogs for that one)  Of course this makes bigger waves too.  But I was not going to let this get in my way.  I can't give up when the swimming gets hard.  I can't give up when this journey gets hard and I can't give up when life gets hard.  You just keep going.

The other swimmer didn't stay long and I had a hard time making myself stay.  I find myself many days arguing with myself about how far, how long I am going to swim.  If I am going to keep the goal I set for myself for the day. 

 My usual goal when I swim like this before work is 3/4 of a mile and today was not different.  Still I did my usual oh I can just this far.  I can make up time ____.  NO!!! Don't stop keep going.  Don't stop KEEP going!!!

6:25 I have finished my goal of distance but it had not been a full hour.  I can get in a few extra laps and be able to stay on track for my yearly goal.  I signed up to swim 100 miles.   It's only 2-3 miles a week.  When I get in my morning swims this is an easy goal.  It's when I slack off I have to push myself back.  

6:31 I head for the showers and my day begins.  After my shower I stepped on the scale and found that my 5 "yoyo" lbs are gone again.  This makes me happy but I don't celebrate it.  I have been bouncing 5-10 lbs back and forth for a few months now.  I need to get past that and move on to my goal.  Thats when I'll really celebrate.   

As I was leaving I stopped by the log sheet on the wall to add my laps for the day.  I am pleasantly surprised to realize I am right on track for the year.  44 miles so far.  I am happy about this too. 

I go grab my keys at the front desk and I am out the door at 7:05.  Right when I wanted to be.  Walking to my car I realize that the swim didn't feel like an hour.  I had lost 5 lbs this week AND I am on track for my swimming goal.  I am already ahead of what some people do all day.  

The day did have it challenges but it was a good day.  I ended up with my exercise done.  Water ... well I am still sloshing.  Calories, good.  I am hitting for 1200 but 1349 isn't too bad when I think that I was hitting 1500-2000.  I am still under that.  

The evening, as most day, was the biggest challenge.  I actually cooked.  I know I am surprised too.  Baked pork steaks and broccoli.  Even bigger surprise my daughter ate with me.  First time I had even seen her this week that one of us wasn't in sleep mode.  Then my son came home and ate before he headed off for his weekend.  Wow a workout, cooking a real meal AND time with the kids all in one day.  WOOHOO!!!

After dinner settled and I was working editing a video it hit me.  I can't be hungry.  I have already had enough calories.  More than I wanted to have.  SSSHHHH!!! Shut up tummy.  Here have some water I have work to do.

And so my day ends, when I finish editing the video, on a good note.  Guys stand back, say a prayer and cheer me on.  I'm doing it this time. :D 

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