Monday, June 10, 2013

June 10, 2013 day 22 of 100

The quiet house is talking to me.  I didn't have that bad a day really, just ending on one of those notes that I don't like.

Last night was a late night so no gym this morning.  I was so tired, sleepy feeling all day.  I have to get to bed earlier tonight.  If I don't get enough sleep my body can't burn off the calories I am giving it.  Or so they tell me.  I just know if I go without enough sleep for to many days in a row I am not the person you want to be around.

Tonight I came home to the empty house.  I don't really watch TV anymore.  And as you know by now my feelings about cooking for one.  I did good on my calories and I didn't blow it tonight as bad as I hear the food calling my name.  No I promise I am not hearing the voices  lol
Sometimes the quiet is nice.  I lay here, I know I should go for a walk ... it aint gonna happen, and I hear the cars going by.  The fan spinning.  And my stomach saying FEED ME!!
The depression is getting me today.  That part of my wants to run and eat anything I can get my hands on.  I just want to do something but I can't even seem to get myself to do that.  
I did make myself eat a bowl of peas.  I have kept within my calorie range for the day.  I think I should stop looking at recipes on Pintrest, it's only helping the hungry monster that I am trying to ignore.  
I should probably call it an early evening.  I need my rest, not just for health reason, because I have a big photoshoot that I am a bit nervous about.  I know my photos are good, but I also know that not everyone likes them.  This one is going to be in print as advertising.  That's what I have wanted.  That's what I went to school for.  So it's time to step and ... aaahh but the what if's pop in my head.  
I think I just need to go to bed.
Say a prayer and stop in an cheer me on.  I need all the help I can get right now.

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