4-18-12

No excuses, I am just not getting into the gym like I  need to.  I am staying active but still that too is an excuse.  I am have come to far to turn back and I'm not turning back, just seem to be in the same spot.  Anyone else that is on, or has taken, this journey have those times?
I feel better than I have in a long time.  I doing things that a year ago I only wished I could do.  Not anything crazy, just think that involve some form of exercise.  Sunday I went to a carnival.  We walked about half a mile from where we parked to get there.  I did it with no problems and was able to carry on a conversation while doing so.  We walked around the carnival for some time and then the half mile back.  I did feel the exhausted feeling that I use to when I attempted things like this.
The one thing that did get me when I was walking back was when I seen my reflection in one of the windows.  I have people all the time telling me how good I look and it's nice to hear.  And all those clothes we hang on til we lose the weight again?  I waited to long to wear most of them.  I can wear them but most of them hang on me.  I have gone down three pant sizes and should be really proud of myself, and I am.  But when I seen my reflection in the window all I seen was a fat woman.  
I know people, esp ones that haven't known me long, see that fat person.  Some days I do want to just yell "you should have seen me a year ago" but they wouldn't understand why.  I'm sure that not everyone looks at me like that, least not like I feel on some days.  I'm sure it's more me seeing where I need to go instead of where I have come from.  
There is someone I have been with several times over the past few weeks and each time I was with her someone that hadn't seem me in a while commented on how well I was looking.  One of them ask how much I had lost and the lady I was with kind did the double take at me when I said 86 lbs.  It feels good to have people notice me.  It feels good to know that I have come this far.  I just can't seem to get out of my mind how much I still need to go.