6-20-12

ok hhmm seeems like this will be a weekly thing.  I am working on it, we will see how it goes. 

The weeks have been crazy. This roller coaster ride called life keeps me jumping.  I am not complaining at all.  I am not trying to make any excuses.  I have made choices, some by not making choices but choices just the same.  As my buddy Sean says "you can choose change or change will choose you".  I find that more true the more I think about it, esp as I write this thinking back.  When I don't take the time to plan out my day (diet/exercise) I am choosing to let change take over.  When I do this I am out of control.  I do not like that phrase "out of control".  I can picture a crazy person doing something that is ridiculous and potentially embarrassing for themselves and those around them.  I do not want that.

Today I HAVE to get it back in control.  Last week I planned to meet with a personal trainer today.   I woke up this morning looking at excuses not to go.  STOP!! I am going.  I have come to far to turn back now.  I am only half way to where I want to be on this journey.  Well that one big goal.  I know that once I get to the goal weight that I set out the new journey begins.  The one of maintaining where I am.  Problem is, partly unconsciously, I am trying to live that part of my life now.  I am not there yet.

My eating habits have not be good.  I say that I don't stuff myself, and I don't, but I never really did.  My biggest thing, and I know how VERY important it is, I need to get back into the gym.  I really would love to find someone that was on the same dedication level that I am for working out.  I have gotten myself out of the routine and I am not happy about it.  I am not going to use the excuse "my shift changed".  I am not going to use the excuse "I have to many things to do when I get off work". I am not going to use the excuse " I have my photo work that needs to be done"  I am not going to use ANY excuses because the point is?  I am choosing to let "life" control me.  I don't want to be outta control.   God made me for more than I have been living and I need to get off my hinny and get back to living.

In just over an hour I WILL be meeting with my trainer and let him know to push me and not let me give ANY excuses.  Anything that I say to not do this is just that ... and EXCUSES!!

I do have to say I am more active than I was a year ago.  I park at the back of the parking lot at work and when I go to the store or other places.  I take the stairs always when I am going down, we are working on the up thing and my knee is getting stronger :D yeah it's probably an excuse and I feel guilty as I write it, thanks  :D 

There are so many things that I can do physically today that I could not do a year ago.  A year ago it was hard for me to stand thru a while football game to shoot pix.  A lot of the games I would use the excuses that I wanted to get "stand shots" from up top.  I know it was because I wanted to sit down.  A year ago I could not make a full lap around the parking lot on my lunch without having to stop.  Today I can make two laps with no problem, sometimes while talking on the phone lol.  Today I can walk and talk without sounding like I am some kind of pervert heavy breather.  go ahead an laugh it's ok, I do to now :D. 

I have a come a long way but I still have a long way to go.  I can picture myself when I was at my best.  I was 22ish.  I worked out every day.  I could go into any store and find something I like to wear.  I could sit any place and not have to think "will this spot hold me".  I even turned the heads of the cute hunks that I came across lol.   There were some downsides to that time in my life but there were so many more upsides.  I don't want to go back to that time but I do want to be more like I was then.  I want to run, ride bikes, go hiking... ok that was funny to me too.  But I really do want to do some of those things.  hhmm I am now adding that to my "skinny" bucket list (stole that one from Cathy).  

Today I will get back on track and get the train moving again.  So if you are reading this, next time you see me go ahead and ask "are you doing any workouts?"  And don't let me give you any excuses.  I mean ANY excuses.  If I do don't help me by saying any of the "it's ok once in a while" statements.  Right now I need you guys to help me keep this going.  And for anyone that is on the journey with me I will be happy to bust your chops if you need me to.  NO EXCUSES!!  We can do this guys.  Now get off the computer and go for a walk :D