Monday 11-29-12

I'm ashamed to say I fell.  I thought by making myself do this blog it would help me to keep up and stay on track.  It didn't.  As most things in my life I do start off really well but seem to lose it before I make it to my goal.  I don't know why I do this but I get really upset with myself about it.  For anyone that had been following this I am sorry.  I wanted this to be an encouragement for me to keep on track as well as help someone else see it can be done, even with all the struggles.  I lost my way for a while and am struggling but I am coming back.

I wish I could say that I have stayed within my 5-10 lb range that I said I was ok with but I bumped up over that a bit.  I do have it back down now, at least when I was at the gym last time.  When was that?  Almost a week ago.  I know I am shaking my head too.

I believe deep in my that this can be done.  I am tired of stopping at the gate of where I want to be.  I want this to be something that I actually open the gate and make it home.  The last big thing I did like that was when I went AND finished college.  I almost did it then.  I HAD to take off for a session and was so tempted to not finish, just two course short of graduating.  I did it.  I found that inner umph and pushed myself to get back in and finish what I started.  I WILL do it again.  This time it's a matter of life an death. 

I have made plans and going to do my best to make it to the gym AT LEAST 2-3 times a week.  I am not sure I can do more right now with my schedule like it is.  I am sure if I tried hard enough I could find time for all of it, but right now I just want to get back in.  I had been hitting the gym 4-5 times a week for months and then I let life step in and I  missed once.  Then twice.  An so on an so on.  You know the story, we have all had our variations of it.  Some several times, like me now.  I am not done.  

I have had some set back that keep my sleep patterns off but I am working on them.  It is time to think about myself for me.  Not for anyone but me.  I need to be healthy to be all God created me to be and I have sold myself short on this.  I have not given it my all.  That IS going to change starting now.  

I will do my best to keep a daily record, even when it seems that I haven't done anything to write about.  If nothing else you may hear about what I ate for the day. Or maybe how work went ( I can always find something funny to write about on that one).  I am rededicating myself to this and I will get it right.  Stand back, say a prayer an cheer me on.