5-24-12

So I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try this is not going to be an every day thing.  But hey I'm here now right?

So what I have I done since we last talk?  I don't rememeemberrr lol  There has been so much of lifes drama that I don't know.  I have had all kinds of emotions from good to bad.  I have had a few laughs but seems I have had more tears.  Seems every corner that I go around something else happens.  This person is hurting, that person has an illness not to mention "my wife left me for another man".  I cry for these people that are hurting.   Some days I almost don't want to get outta bed ... naaa I'll never be like that ... bathroom calls rofl
ok you see that I am trying to find something fun about all the crap life seems to show me ... this too will pass

So yesterday I was just not feeling it.  Wednesday is usually the day I do my power work outs but I had to work.  I took off time on other days and had to work four hours so I wasn't able to get to the gym till noon.  By the time I got there I was really wishing I could go boxing, but I don't think they have it at the gym.  So I hit the weight room. (not like that, but that would have been a punny one rofl) I pushed more than I had in a long time.  Legs, thighs, abdomen ... I pushed it all pretty hard.  Then hit the bike for some cardio.  They say that if you want to feel good workout.  Normally I agree with this, but I didn't feel good.  My body was happy with me ok but my heart didn't feel the same.  I still wanted to cry.

Today I ended up taking a vacation day.  My initial intent (other than I was really to tired to hear people whine about their bills)  was that I would make up time from what I didn't do yesterday at the gym.  Before I got out of the house my daughter had asked if I could drop her off at school and pick her up two hours later.  Really?? Ok ok I did better at this point than I have in the past.  I did go and got some time in the weight room then hit the pool for some cardio but only for half an hour.  

See before I made it to the gym, after I dropped my daughter I had some of the drama hit again.  Something that left me really upset because I dont like to see people hurt and sometime there is nothing I can do but stand back and watch it all happen.  So no the workout didn't make me feel better.  Even after the workout when I weighed and realized I am only 8 lbs from my 100 lbs milestone I felt a heavy heart.  But enough about that.  

Yes, yes you heard me right ... after my workout I realized I have lost NINETY-TWO lbs ... that is only EIGHT lbs off from my first BIG goal.  So even though I still felt clouded and had a heavy heart that passed.  I went shopping with my daughter and felt "lighter" all the way around.  I feel a refuel of energy that I am really going to be able to do this.  You would think that they idea of all my clothes literally HANGING on me would make me realize how far I have come but it wasn't cutting it.  I did finally have a fire flame back up in me today.  I have come so far, and even though I have this much more to go, I AM going to make it this time.  
I hit the plateau over the past month and even that didn't make me feel bad.  I know partly that it was my lack of "going the extra mile".  So I started challenging myself by challenging others.  So next time you see me hit you up with a challenge know that I am out there trying to be the good example and do it too.  I am walking daily and drinking more water.  
So whos with me?  I have taken this one step at a time. Baby steps.  If I can do it anyone can.